Decisions, Decisions

G’s Friend N mentioned once over lunch that he had read an article about how people who slave over decisions, looking at every detail and weighing all options carefully are generally more prone to regret their decisions than someone who just quickly picked something. I thought that sounded absurd at first. I mean, surely someone who took their time deciding exactly what was best is happier with their decision than someone who eenie, meenie, minie, moe’s their decisions? And let’s think about this… aren’t we really looking at a fundamental difference between most men and women?

For example, my brother is marrying his long-time girlfriend in February. She is the one looking at all of the options for the wedding. She thinks about each type of flower, trying to decide which is the perfect look and scent and color. He, on the other hand, would just as happily choose roses or lilies or whatever. I guess the truth is that the reason most men just pick something is that in most cases they really don’t care or think that it has any effect on them.

I want to repaint the living room downstairs in our house, but after getting lots of paint samples and those little booklets you get for free at Home Depot with all the color strips in them… I can’t decide what will look best. The thing is, I realize that every other time I have picked a paint color, with maybe one exception in my life, I have regretted my decision. Is that because I haphazardly picked a random color and then was disappointed with the results? NO! It’s because I spent all that time looking for the perfect color. After you’ve looked at all the options, I think it’s true that you are just setting yourself up for disappointment and regret. Especially if you find several options that you lke, because the option you didn’t choose inevitably becomes the one you wish you had. Maybe what I should do is just lay out the paint colors in front of G and let him randomly choose one.

Maybe it’s the investment of time that makes us care so much about the results. If women spent less time worrying over the decision making process, maybe we would, in general, be happier with our decisions. For me, it either needs to be that, or else I need to just enjoy the fun I have during the decision phase and commit to my choices without regret. After all, looking through all the paint colors or flowers is the best part sometimes. Actually, maybe that’s why we feel regret once a decision is made! We feel regret because we are letting go and saying goodbye to a fun project that gave us the freedom to daydream with endless options. I have never thought of it that way until just now. Something to think about for sure.