Who’s to Blame?

Everytime something bad or disappointing happens in your life, do you take time to think about what went wrong? Or do you automatically blame it on someone or something else? Do you ever actually take personally responsibility? Or do you shield yourself by believing that nothing is your fault?

Sometimes, we aren’t the ones to blame. If someone else caused a car accident and you got hurt, you have every right to blame them. However, the fact that you have to deal with your injuries and move forward is now your responsibility. Of course, it still feels good to look back and blame that asshole who pulled out in front of you.

Most of the time, it’s our own stupid fault when things go wrong. I hear people say things all the time like, “I knew I should have changed the tires, but the people at the Jiffy Lube should have TOLD me I needed to get new tires!! It’s their fault I was hydroplaning!” Uh… really?

I suppose it’s human nature to look around for somewhere else to place the blame. We don’t really want to believe that we are the ones responsible for our own destiny. It’s okay, you can admit it. I do it too. To this day, I still hold onto the belief that if the stupid administration at my high school had counted music as an academic subject like they did for art and weight lifting (ha!), I would have been Valedictorian of my graduation class. But NO, they had to count C’s weight lifting class, where she got 100 every semester, thus putting her half a point higher than me on her GPA. I really wanted to be #1, and when I didn’t get it, I looked outward for reasons why. The ultimate truth, though, is that those rules were already in place long before I challenged them. Sure, Music should count if sports and art do, but that was a battle I should have started fighting Freshman year if I wanted things to change. My grades were my responsibility.

I would like to think that as I mature, I begin to take more responsibility. The truth is, the only way that we can grow and change is to first realize where we need work. Sometimes, however, it seems that the older people get, the more they tend to blame everyone else for their problems. There are a lot of people out there who have no interest in “growing” or becoming a better person.

For example, there’s this man in his mid-60’s that G and I recently encountered playing Everquest 2. He was the type of guy where you just couldn’t tell him anything he didn’t already know, and he never did anything wrong… it was always someone or something else that caused it. I said, “Okay I’m here, can I get an invite.” and he said, “I know, I was watching you, I already invited you, your computer must be lagging.” Someone said, “You have to turn that mob around please,” and he said, “I was trying to turn it around, but he had me stunned for a bit there and I was just trying to make sure someone else didn’t pull aggro.” Those are just two small examples. When we grouped with him one night for several hours, there was not a single time when he didn’t have an excuse or someone else to blame. I wanted to reach through my computer screen, pick up his little Shadowknight ass and hurl him out the window! Take some damn responsibility! Or better yet, just do what you were asked to do or do whatever it takes to make the situation better and stop fucking whining about it!

Honestly, if you want to go really deep with this, the people that drive me the most crazy are the people who mooch off of the government and then continue to feel that everbody owes them something. It’s never their fault that they had six kids when they couldn’t afford it. It’s never their fault that they can’t find a job. Their health problems are a good excuse! They would never admit that their health problems are due to their giant ass from sitting on it and eating potato chips and pizza all day long. I fully understand that things happen that are out of your control sometimes, but most of the time, no one is to blame for where we are except for ourselves. The minute we start taking responsibility for our circumstances is the moment we begin to change and make things better.

Of course, I’m partly talking to myself here too, so don’t feel that I’m putting judgment on anyone. (Okay, so maybe a little judgment on the woman with six kids who refuses to work hard and thinks it’s the government’s responsibility to take care of her.) I just believe that if we all start to realize that where we are now is the sum of all the little decisions that we make throughout our day, we can start to recognize the little things that need to change. Instead of saying, “I can’t write today because I have a terrible tummy ache,” I need to realize that it was my decision to have too much sugar the day before when I know that sugar is going to upset my stomach.

Anyway, I’m sorry I didn’t get this blog posted sooner, but I had to take my dog outside and then feed her, and then she started to get into our other dog’s food and I had to punish her and put her back in her room… It wasn’t my fault. (Ha!)